I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize