you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
