is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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