its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
