Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
