there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
