how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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