a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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