Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize