Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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