I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just threw up on my dentist
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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