so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The air was thick with penises
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
