Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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