is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
