p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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