Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
