i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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