my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
