Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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