help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just found a bag of teeth...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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