I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
