The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just pee around me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize