Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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