she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
