Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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