omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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