saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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