You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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