Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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