You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
