K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
