You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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