I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
