i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize