She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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