so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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