I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
