Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
did i walk over a car last night?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize