After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
