Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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