whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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