bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
