$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just had sex bonerless
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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