What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
