Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
