it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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