you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
