DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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