And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
