i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
