Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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