I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
