So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
