So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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