it was like eating out sand paper
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
