We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
