Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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