Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize